Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish you could order shots online.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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