Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize