Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
