What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
