meet me or not, i'm out of control
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
