Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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