Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You can't just leave with hair like that
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
