I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My bed smells like the plague
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
