She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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