I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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