i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think your dad took our porno
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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