I wish I could punch you in the face.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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