whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
