Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
