Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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