You can't motorboat a personality
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
MIDGETS
????
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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