yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
