I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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