I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
even my farts smell like vagina
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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