everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
