He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
