I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize