What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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