Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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