I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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