So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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