I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
