Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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