So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
