I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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