How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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