I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Can I color on your dick again?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize