Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
