Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
