Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
