According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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