i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
