your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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