i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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