so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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