Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Randomize
