Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just had sex on a roof
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
