Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I am one with the molecules
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
