I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
