i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
