were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and she was petting her beer can
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
