dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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