problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
