There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize