remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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