I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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