the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
