I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
