I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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