just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
