shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
