She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
