I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize