I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
