and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
